Humor Archives — EMMpress https://www.emmpress.com/category/humor/ words and images for mindful humans Sat, 28 Mar 2026 14:35:48 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.1 https://www.emmpress.com/wp-content/uploads/cropped-Screenshot-2026-03-10-at-12.16.43-PM-32x32.png Humor Archives — EMMpress https://www.emmpress.com/category/humor/ 32 32 Sushi Bake Beliefs https://www.emmpress.com/sushi-bake-beliefs/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=sushi-bake-beliefs Sat, 28 Mar 2026 13:57:40 +0000 https://www.emmpress.com/?p=16902 On Food Culture, Balls of Beliefs, Paradox, Music, and Menopause Yesterday my daughter found a recipe for a Sushi Bake, and I was immediately skeptical. Who wants to…

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]]> Mother of https://www.emmpress.com/mother-of/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=mother-of Mon, 08 Sep 2025 16:38:22 +0000 https://www.emmpress.com/?p=13891 I was out late last night at a concert with my teenager. Total bonding experience, and great to see how even punk and goth music can still send…

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]]> If it’s brown… https://www.emmpress.com/if-its-brown/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=if-its-brown Sat, 06 Sep 2025 14:31:54 +0000 https://www.emmpress.com/?p=13848 There’s a bell in the bathroom at my mom’s house. Like one of those “ring for service,” bells that dings when you slap it. Because there’s more than…

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]]> You won’t all get this, and that’s okay https://www.emmpress.com/you-wont-all-get-this/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=you-wont-all-get-this Sat, 30 Aug 2025 12:27:51 +0000 https://www.emmpress.com/?p=13826 Menopause is like a pack of wolves in a bitch’s clothing. So fun to play with tools like Facebook color boxes, then turn them on their head by…

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]]> Is AI, or my butt, running my mobile phone? https://www.emmpress.com/is-ai-or-my-butt-running-my-mobile-phone/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=is-ai-or-my-butt-running-my-mobile-phone Thu, 12 Jun 2025 15:39:16 +0000 https://www.emmpress.com/?p=13035 Ever call someone you didn’t intend to by “butt dial?” I keep my phone in my pocket, and given how tight my jeans have become, watching the operations…

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]]> Nunsense https://www.emmpress.com/nunsense/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=nunsense Sat, 31 May 2025 12:30:35 +0000 https://www.emmpress.com/?p=12828 When I was 16, a defecting nun came to stay with us. She was young and full of verve and vigor. She had been running the church-y teenager…

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]]> self-censorship, free speech, and the powers of The People https://www.emmpress.com/self-censorship-free-speech-and-the-powers-of-societal-norms/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=self-censorship-free-speech-and-the-powers-of-societal-norms Fri, 25 Apr 2025 20:00:10 +0000 https://www.emmpress.com/?p=11667 What happens when the recently de-privileged1 try to recoup social power by authoritarianism, and what to do about it. No law can save you, if you don’t make…

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]]> St. Anthony and a Random Find https://www.emmpress.com/st-anthony-and-a-random-charm/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=st-anthony-and-a-random-charm Sun, 13 Apr 2025 18:05:47 +0000 https://www.emmpress.com/?p=11608 One day in 2023 I found this bit of jewelry on the ground, so I posted about it on my town’s Facebook page, hoping the owner would contact…

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]]> Edge of Seventeen https://www.emmpress.com/edge-of-seventeen/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=edge-of-seventeen Wed, 26 Mar 2025 13:13:04 +0000 https://www.emmpress.com/?p=11194 Enjoying the full-bodied rebellion of peri-menopause, and the strength of youth. My well read (and generally badass) friend says to me the other day, “there’s a hormonal link…

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]]> So, I’m at the grocery store, not buying eggs https://www.emmpress.com/so-im-at-the-grocery-store-not-buying-eggs/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=so-im-at-the-grocery-store-not-buying-eggs Sun, 23 Feb 2025 18:01:07 +0000 https://www.emmpress.com/?p=10581 I’m seeing young parents wheeling around their kids in carts, and think: I did that. Yeah, I had kids, am still raising them, and I deserve some kind…

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]]> Making an oracle by machine https://www.emmpress.com/playing-the-fool-and-making-divination-tools-by-machine/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=playing-the-fool-and-making-divination-tools-by-machine Sat, 25 Jan 2025 20:59:09 +0000 https://www.emmpress.com/?p=9759 Get a reading of sorts at bottom of this page. Randomness is the name, and divination is the game. ~Playing The Fool1 I just added a Random Post…

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]]> Tree Hugging Humour, Lychee Trees & Ways of Approach https://www.emmpress.com/tree-hugging-humour-lychee-trees-ways-of-approach/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=tree-hugging-humour-lychee-trees-ways-of-approach Fri, 13 Dec 2024 19:45:03 +0000 https://www.emmpress.com/?p=9110 I need to make this quick, and I’m going for the British spelling to captivate your interest. I’ve got shopping to do and laundry, maybe even can get…

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]]> Stale questions, fresh answers https://www.emmpress.com/stale-questions-fresh-answers/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=stale-questions-fresh-answers Fri, 27 Sep 2024 18:21:43 +0000 https://www.emmpress.com/?p=7333 I’m treating myself to some new questions in my self-styled spa day today, because my old questions haven’t been serving up much joy or love. I have a…

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]]> Donut Holes & Superpowers: https://www.emmpress.com/donut-holes-superpowers/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=donut-holes-superpowers Fri, 28 Jun 2024 18:02:48 +0000 https://www.emmpress.com/?p=5761 probing the philosophy of nothingness in daily life How consciousness works, how it lives, dies, and transforms has been a preoccupation of mine since I was a girl…

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]]> delaborate https://www.emmpress.com/delaborate/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=delaborate Sat, 22 Oct 2022 15:09:50 +0000 https://www.emmpress.com/?p=2473 Odin: so I was working on my narrative at school, and it was long, so I decided to delaborate on the spaghetti. . #Odinisms #ProudMom #CoinedIt!

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]]> Tasslenisms – Part 3 https://www.emmpress.com/tasslenisms-part-three/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=tasslenisms-part-three Thu, 20 Jul 2017 14:46:59 +0000 http://www.emmpress.com/?p=1402 Dog feeding time: Odin: I’m going to give the dogs a boutique! Me: Really? Tasslen: No Odin, a boutique is a bunch of flowers. You want to give…

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]]> Waitress Tales, Common Fails https://www.emmpress.com/waitress-tales/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=waitress-tales Fri, 17 Feb 2017 17:02:01 +0000 http://www.emmpress.com/?p=1135 One of the highest earning waiters I ever knew of, was also the most outrageous. This charismatic professional would walk up to a table and say quickly, charmingly…

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]]> yes, I remember https://www.emmpress.com/yes-i-remember/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=yes-i-remember Sun, 12 Feb 2017 18:34:04 +0000 http://www.emmpress.com/?p=1158 Remember when the GOP used to fight tyranny for the sake of democracy? And now they fight democracy for the sake of a tyrant?  

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]]> Protest Art https://www.emmpress.com/protest-art/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=protest-art Sun, 01 Jan 2017 20:16:12 +0000 http://www.emmpress.com/?p=897 Because, once again, a short quip and some pictures can sometimes speak more than volumes. Here’s hoping the Women’s March picks this up and runs with it.

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]]> New words for the end https://www.emmpress.com/withdramal/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=withdramal Thu, 27 Oct 2016 15:35:53 +0000 http://www.emmpress.com/?p=676 Dear Mr. Trump, I know it is not yet the election, but it is time for me, and you, and your GOP comrades, to stop the showmanship, drama,…

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]]> Me time = Flea time https://www.emmpress.com/me-time-flea-time/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=me-time-flea-time Tue, 25 Oct 2016 15:55:38 +0000 http://www.emmpress.com/?p=673 I am battling tiny vermin, some imagined, some real.  Last week, my elder child came home with a classroom lice notice.  That took my already overactive laundry habit…

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]]> Tasslenisms: part two https://www.emmpress.com/tasslenisms-part-two/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=tasslenisms-part-two Tue, 14 Apr 2015 15:15:05 +0000 http://www.emmpress.com/?p=351 see also Tasslenisms One   ♥  Tasslenisms Two  ♥  Tasslenisms Three Tasslen at egg hunt: Look mom, a double yolker! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Tasslen: mom, can I…

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]]> The ultimate fill https://www.emmpress.com/the-ultimate-full/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-ultimate-full Tue, 31 Mar 2015 16:35:18 +0000 http://www.emmpress.com/?p=461 When I dropped my daughter at preschool today, they had a guessing game for the kids: how many jelly beans are in the jar?  The lesson for the…

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]]> Activity vs. Achievement https://www.emmpress.com/activity-vs-achievement/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=activity-vs-achievement Mon, 23 Mar 2015 15:14:42 +0000 http://www.emmpress.com/?p=353 Like many parents of small children, I reside in a swirl of constant and chaotic activity.  Think, “mom, look at this potion I just made with your new…

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]]> Waitress tale https://www.emmpress.com/waitress-tail/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=waitress-tail Fri, 13 Mar 2015 18:43:09 +0000 http://www.emmpress.com/?p=217 When I was engaged, I remember serving a pair of  mafia girlfriends and their partners in my section.  “What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?”…

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]]> Tasslenisms: part one https://www.emmpress.com/tasslenisms-part-one/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=tasslenisms-part-one Thu, 12 Mar 2015 14:10:25 +0000 http://www.emmpress.com/?p=180 Words from my (now 5 year old) daughter. see also Tasslenisms One   ♥  Tasslenisms Two  ♥  Tasslenisms Three ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Tasslen: I’m so excited for…

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