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Crone
markup art on my photo of a stump
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(excessive amounts of this kind of art on Instagram)
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I occasionally get grief for talking about "the universe." Chided for chatting up the esoteric or sharing my take on big ole principles over everyday small talk.
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This is okay, someone's got to take the heat.
I know we've always needed people around us to dream big dreams, get caught up in universal concepts, and manifest big, breathable ideas into some kind of form. Artists & authors do this, and we need them to continue. So do philosophers, poets, and everyday mystics. So do entrepreneurs, musicians, parents, leaders, and every day citizens as well.
It's kind of what we do as humans, and sometimes we need to get right down to doing our finest healing business. On purpose.
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Even without the pedigree of science, math, layers of pious religious cred, or piles of degrees, you may need to dive deep into day dreaming too. Sometimes, ordinary people (of which I count myself a member) need to dream big. Daydreaming for sport can lift us into positive emotions, see ourselves anew, and give us energy to carry on as better members of society than when we just grind and get stuff done.
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I know. I can overwork with the best of them.
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Because I have some big-thinking friends who are currently struggling, I'm sharing this strategy for when tough times come with the whole gang of you. I hope you don't mind. The solutions are real. And really helped me in tough times. Multiple times.
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How and Why to Daydream on Purpose
I was an oft-over-the-top teen who struggled with overwhelm, depression, and social awkwardness by the mile. Back then the stuff of hormones, relentless perfectionism in school, work, friendships, and living would regularly freak me the f out. Add in nerdy interests to a touch of the 'tism – and serving a tired single mom as a world-class latchkey kid....
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Hell, I felt responsible for everything.
And when overwhelm hit, it would sometimes trigger something like PTSD, complete with circling spaces like a crazy person and murmurs about "what to do next?" Skies would literally look dark and I'd be sure all the birds had fallen out of them. Dark. Gloom.
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In my mind, every decision affected every other. A complex matrix of my world falling apart seemed the only certainty. I'd pace in terror. I'd cry and argue why no one could help me. But still, some people had to listen. When my mom would see the earliest signs of one of these moments, she'd say,
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You need to daydream around happiness. On purpose.
I'd fight back with "I can't. take.a break!" and list all the stuff people needed from me. On deadline, of course. I took my work seriously (waiting tables, was, you know, akin to brain surgery), and was sure every agreement I made in casual conversation was do or die. I'd never cancel anything, killing myself to live above and beyond others' imagined expectations.
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You know, Type A BS all over the place. Like the entire universe swirled around my every move.
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Yet when I'd accept that dreamy little treat she'd give me, and imagine a better anything like it was my job, I'd begin to feel better. That plus one really decent night's sleep was the total charm for the kick-start of better mental health.
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Making things, or fixing problems, would come after that rest. Those good ideas and energy always came in time. As did the means to get stuff done.
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Daydream + solid night sleep = perspective.
Can you imagine? An adult saying, "your job is to daydream?"
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So, now I'm saying it now to you. Even those of you who aren't in the sh!t., it's really important to dream big and lovely on purpose. Someone has to keep hope alive, envision solutions, and imagine healing of self and world. Continually.
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Oh yeah, and someone needs to support kids to grow up good, and know there will be rebuilding when things feel broken.
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It may as well be you. Daydreaming that is.
To prove I'm not off the rails, if you look closely enough at history, entire disciplines and huge new directions have been begun by big ole dreamy thinkers (like Kekulé's proported bezene dreams or thought experiments by a modest patent clerk). Not only did their realizations help them solve "a problem," but their ideas helped countless others open themselves to discovering and creating other wonders as well.
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Art, poetry, music can bring you into an expansive state when you feel bereft of self-generated goodness. That's why we need this stuff: it can deeply draw one into the creator's connected state. And that state is nearly always expansive, and human, and strong enough to withstand difficulty. Even when someone is singing the blues, it helps us know we belong.
Put on some music, will ya?
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A morning case-study: grace by annoyance
For a while now, I've been daydreaming about grace: what makes it arise? How does it transfer? Can grace be given away? Can it be coaxed closer? What are practical manifestations of grace? Do we have any control of grace whatsoever? What if your name is Grace?
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And this morning, I arrived in my kitchen, ready to make a good cup of coffee and write. My happy place.
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What I encountered was a left-out pile of cookies (yay), greasy cookie sheets (nay), batter bowls all over the place, a slimy un-run dishwasher, piles of detritus sprinkled throughout surfaces in my home, an array of abandoned sneakers and random dirty socks.
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My first instinct was to fire up an angry Medusa – a WTF wild haired woman ready to take names.
I considered 'raising teens right,' and stomping upstairs to get the rogue makers to take care of this mess. I was full to the brim with pissed off Accountability, I'll do-right-if-it-kills-me Parenting, and making sh!t happen fast and fair. All so I could enjoy a perfect writing environment. Because that was not what I found, I considered becoming Justice Incarnate, or maybe Natural Consequences on steroids.
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Then I stopped, and remembered Grace – how I've been dreaming all around it. I thought, I still don't know WTF it is, but glad to ponder it anyway...
Without another thought, I caught myself cleaning up. Putting things away, washing dishes, quietly, so everyone could sleep. Un/fortunately I am good at it: I'd cleaned up after others no less than 10,000 times in my life: at home, at work, and even on the internet.
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And they say 10K hours makes you a master. I'd been dubbed "Kitchen Ninja" by those who witnessed me in action. So next thing I knew, kitchen was clean and I felt really good about myself.
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Ninja: no glory, but a quiet power nonetheless.
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And I noticed I was happy my kids know how to bake, and that they turn to making things when they are bored. And I practiced loving my family through every funky bit of gunk I touched, every dish I washed, every counter I scrubbed. They'll never appreciate this labor of love, I'm sure, but I appreciated choosing to do love and quick Ninja Cleanup instead of Punishment or Funky Justice.
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And the gift I received, was after that moment, I knew precisely what to write to you.
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Daydreams away! I believe deeply in you.
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With grace and gratitude,
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Please forward this to anyone who needs to know it's okay, in fact necessary, to take a break. We got their backs.
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More Text & Images
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E=mc² – a reason to make art
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A genius creation that exists only inside our minds can't hold a candle to the energy that exists in even the tiniest bit of stuff you make. I think of Energy as the felt forces like movement, impact, influence, and reach. Energy is usually experienced as a force that makes things move in this universe: it explodes stars and makes …
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Categories: Creativity, Mommess, Quotes, Science, Spirtuality, Visual Art
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Some content here is political, some personal, much of it philosophical, and all of it meant to shine some light into the lives of my readers, because it was written to shine light into mine.
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POLITICAL ACTION AREA: It's best to connect with your local civic groups, and show up in the ways you can. Peaceful crowd sizes matter, as does your positive energy, community spirit, and adherence to non-violence.
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