I’ve needed to abruptly quit a few things in my life. And each time, my departures have left people confused. In general, I’m an upbeat worker, definitely a hard worker, seeking to add something positive to the collaborative mission, and I usually do. And I’ve been lucky to work on fantastic projects, doing great things with great people. But, I have also burned out badly, more than once. I’ve overworked and overwhelmed myself with tasks, and every time, it was indifference that took me down. But the indifference was not toward the project, or the greater mission, it was indifference to me that did it. More specifically, indifference plus idealism.
We’ve been trained to believe that serving a high-minded vision is superior, even noble. After all, soldiers “die for their country,” Jesus “died for our sins,” and great teachers “give everything to their students.”
Like many people, I love working in service to something good, something ‘big.’ Something bigger than myself. And this is good, but…
I’d also sometimes accept meh arrangements in exchange for a place to contribute. I’d charge less than what I could so I could still earn while serving a greater vision.** I’d work through vacations, work extra hours to hit the mark, I’d stand in for people, and I’d build effective systems and efficiencies (probably so I could have a rest). I’d also pretend I was supremely professional by hiding my real needs: cool under pressure, until I wasn’t.
But aren’t you supposed to serve something greater than yourself?
It can be a great to do if you don’t know what your mission is, but sometimes, serving another’s mission can bring people into a situation where they are unappreciated, utilized, or at worst, killed. And isn’t the core message of most movements, corporate cultures, governments, and religion: “Subscribe to THIS. Give your ALL. Rewards come LATER!”? This is not to say, throwing your efforts toward a collaborative mission is bad, it can be fulfilling as a process, but you need discernment lest you lose your own, or get to caught up on what’s to come.
Missions are simple and literal, but the leaders of visions are organic and messy. ‘Giving your all,’ ‘leaving it on the stage,’ etc. are often lauded as heroic. In reality, any human living freely is the most heroic of all.
If you are a natural creative, and parameterrally-challenged* like me, it’s tempting to sprawl your gifts in service of others’ missions with abandon. And sometimes this can result in abandoning yourself. Sound familiar?
This cannot happen if you simply prioritize awareness of your basic bodily needs, and processing your personal emotions and desires by awareness. Your basic needs aren’t always exciting, and are often embarrassing, but they are important if you want to achieve anything. So is courage, but that’s another post.
The adage to “take care of yourself first” is super truth when you find yourself inspired by an exciting mission. The second you want to subscribe to someone else’s vision, at the expense of yours, that’s when you need to go out of your way to stop, pause and tune into you.
You have to be clear with you, in order to be clear about what you are to do with them.
Part II – The Next Election
The best organizations and governments help people develop their personal missions in tandem, the worst hand out talking points and bullets.
This being-indifferent-to-self problem feels crazy important as we face the next election. As Timothy Snyder says in his book On Tyranny, “don’t obey in advance.” While he’s referring to authoritarian governments asking for people to willingly give up individual rights, it’s important to know that excitement is one of the only reasons people WOULD obey in advance. If a leader invokes excitement in their public discourse they can win hearts and minds, and an cadre of obedient subjects.
I think an important question is: what’s the mission of that individual human? Are they honest with themselves about it? In the case of Trump, I’m pretty sure whatever it is, it’s tied to crony capitalism and OPM, exploitation and sniffs of racism. In the case of Biden, I believe his mission is tied to democracy and teamwork, and helping those who need it. His team appears to work diligently in support of our constitution and following the “rules” of a slow, boring (and functional) democracy.
So, I’m betting on democracy in 2024. I love some slow, competent and boring democratic process, now and for my kids’ sake too.
Seriously, why call out “excitement” ?
Excitement is bodily-emotional experience closely resembling both inspiration and fear. Think about it, the last time you were really impassioned or inspired by a cause, weren’t you excited? Maybe feeling energized, heart beating, wanting to move more, speak, post, etc.?
And what about the last time you felt panic anxiety, wasn’t the physical manifestation similar?
People who have become indifferent to their own needs can get burned by a leader playing on excitement. I choose instead to cast my lot with people who promote ALL individual freedoms and serve democracy as a collaborative system that we can all live with. Calm works as an antidote to excitement. Calm like meditation. Or, for me, calm like writing and editing. Calm like voting in my neighborhood in a fair election.
Survival is not petty, selfish, or vanity, it is valuing yourself. Collaborative missions like democracy, support your kids’ participation in country-making down the road.
Pleas vote if you want to be able to vote after 2024. Vote if you want for your kids to experience process of choosing who will serve you as a leader again. And listen to the policies. They matter, to YOU.
I admire the collaborative system called democracy and therefore actively support it. It’s much better for me and my bodily and emotional needs than voting for the bright orange option on the horizon.
How about you?
* Parameterrally-challenged: a term related to “boundaries,” but the opposite. If you are creative, but not mindful or collaborative about it, your stuff can sprawl in many directions. If you create systems, and others adopt them, then you’ve pushed your creative energy out even further until it takes on a life of it’s own.
**Yeah, I grew up with a poverty and a judgemental mindset, so was trained to feel like receiving lots of money is not okay in some way. I have had a love/hate relationship with charging for work I enjoy as well. Complicated, but isn’t self-awareness?